


"Oh No! My Internet BFF Wants To Fuse With Me!" (Lapis x MagicalGirl!Reader)

by Jewelfox



Series: Magical Gem [YOUR NAME]-chan! [3]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon), いなり, こんこん, 恋いろは | Inari Konkon Koi Iroha
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Confessions, F/F, First Time Gem Fusion, Foxes, Gay Space Rocks, Gem Fusion, Kitsune, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Character, Nerdiness, POV Lesbian Character, POV Second Person, Past Abuse, Physical Disability, Puella Magi Madoka Magica References, Puella Magi Madoka Magica Spoilers, Romance, Shinto, Transformation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 11:22:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12983001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jewelfox/pseuds/Jewelfox
Summary: When Lapis finally looks up at you, her hair is messed up and there are tears in her eyes. "Honestly, [YOUR NAME]? I'm the LAST Gem that you want to fuse with. Because I WILL hurt you, even if it's not on purpose. You're going to deal with my depression, my isolation ... you're going to HATE me. You're going to hate BEING ALIVE. Because that's what it's like to be me."She squeezes her hands into fists again, but is keeping them down at her sides. "The only reason I'm even offering to do this, is because there's a chance that it won't be as bad as NOT fusing. I just ... I want you to think about this." She looks away, her cheeks dark blue.---If the only way to save her best friend was to fuse with her, would Lapis Lazuli do it? How much would it cost her? How much would it cost YOU? And would either of you ENJOY it?Find out, in today's episode of ...





	1. *eats popcorn*

You are [YOUR NAME], or [Y/N] for short. You are A PEARL, apparently? It's a long story. But you have the body of a human girl and the magic circuits of a Gem, and you need what you call your Star Jewel -- a Pearl, according to Lapis -- to be close to your body at all times. Otherwise you flop in a lifeless heap, sort of like if you take the Soul Gem away from a MADOKA-STYLE MAGICAL GIRL.

Unfortunately, it turns out that if this ever happens to you it could take YEARS to rebuild your connection. You found this out yesterday when it happened by accident, after Lapis tried to fly you somewhere to show off her powers. Now you have less motor control than A CAT ON HEAVY TRANQUILIZERS, and are hoping that Lapis' friend Steven can do something to fix that.

Lapis Lazuli, or OceanGem as you're used to calling her online, is your best friend and crush, and has been VERY SUPPORTIVE while you are disabled. Even though she's had to do some embarrassing stuff for you, like help you out in the BATHROOM, which is something that EVERYONE HAS AGREED TO FORGET.

This morning she's flying you A THOUSAND MILES AWAY to where her friend lives, holding tight to your SACK OF POTATOES BODY the entire time to make sure you don't fall. She keeps asking you if you're okay, and all you can do is say "BLUH" and flop your head forward so she doesn't worry.

Even though you're kind of drooling a little.

Your STAR JEWEL, a [YOUR PREFERRED COLOUR] Pearl, is secure on its chain around your neck, so that Lapis doesn't drop it by accident and START THIS WHOLE THING ALL OVER AGAIN.

Your FAMILIAR, the fox spirit who lives inside it, is PROBABLY IN THERE RIGHT NOW.

You have one FUSION, a magical shrine maiden form that you got when you fused with her. But since the connection between your Gem and your body is weak right now, you aren't sure when you'll be able to do that again.

Overall, being a magical girl is CONSIDERABLY LESS GLAMOROUS than you had been hoping. It HAS brought you and Lapis much closer together ...

... but you're still A VIRGIN.

* * *

"I have a message for the Crystal Gems, from Uka-no-Mitama-no-Kami."

As soon as the MOTLEY BUNCH inside this beach house introduced themselves, your fox friend jumped out of your Star Jewel and told them that.

"Let's hear it," says THE TALL ONE WITH THE AFRO, whose VOLUPTUOUS THIGHS appear to be COATED IN SPANDEX. She's also the only one who didn't look surprised when your fox spoke up.

Lapis looks miffed. "I'm setting [YOUR NAME] down first," she says, and lays you on their living room sofa.

That done, the fox noses your Star Jewel, and it starts PROJECTING A HOLOGRAM just like THAT ROBOT IN SPACE BATTLES. It's of a woman with straw-coloured hair, in an outfit sort of like your fox fusion's, holding a MEGA FAMICOM CONTROLLER and crying at something offstage. "He still loves her, even though they found out that she's not a real princess!" she says, and blows her nose into a handkerchief.

A fox leans in towards her and whispers, while holding up one of his CUTE LITTLE PAWS to block someone's view of his mouth. "Lady Uka! Pearl's started recording!"

"Eeeeeh? Bwah!" She tosses the controller away in surprise, then smooths out her hair, wipes at her eyes, and gives the Crystal Gems a SAD SMILE.

"Greetings from Kyoto," she says, in a regal tone. "You may not know who We are, but legends of your bravery have reached Us from abroad. Before the Celestial Court was founded, before the land of Wa even existed, you protected this world and everyone on it. For that, you have Our gratitude."

The PALE AND SKINNY GEM beams with pride.

The SHORT AND PURPLE GEM picks her nose.

"Please," Uka continues, "accept this gift: One of your kind, a Pearl, who was found battling monsters in the depths of Yomi. She has continued to do so, for Us, and her skill with the spear has no equal."

A FOX peeks in from the side. "Did you see how she cut that giant spider in half?!"

Uka squeals. "I know, right? It was just like watching an anime!"

A SECOND FOX waves at her frantically. "Lady Uka, you're still live!"

"Oh, right! Pardon me." She composes herself. "As I was saying, this Pearl would like to gift herself to you. Rose Quartz, mighty leader of the Crystal Gems; please accept her as one of your own!"

The beach house crew cringes hard at that. You can't tell if Uka committed a FAUX PAS, or if the idea of having you stay here is awkward. Frankly, you're not sure you'd blame them for that. You just want to get well and go home, anyway!

... and be a MAGICAL GIRL at home!

"Finally, this is a personal matter." Uka SMILES DISARMINGLY, and raises one hand to her chin. "Word has reached Us of Rose Quartz's 'experiments.' We would be honoured if you could help this Pearl achieve her greatest wish, which is-"

The recording cuts out.

 _To take human form,_ you finish for her, in your head. You aren't sure how great this PARTICULAR human form is, to be honest, but you feel like you understand your Pearl -- and yourself -- a bit better now.

Not that that helps you any, while you're SPRAWLED OUT LIKE A LUMP on the couch.

"Wait, did she know my mom?" A young boy, whom you guess is STEVEN, speaks up. "How did she know my mom was trying to have me?"

"Eh, I may have befriended a fox or two." THE PURPLE ONE scratches the back of her head.

The pale one huffs. "Amethyst, I told you those foxes were up to no good!"

"Thank you, little fox." The tall one kneels in front of your fox spirit, to get closer to her level. "You've come a long way to deliver this message, haven't you?"

The fox spirit nods. "I apologize for the delay."

"But it seems that this Pearl isn't feeling quite like herself."

"Bleh." You try your best to LOOK SYMPATHETIC.

"Look." Lapis steps in between you. "[YOUR NAME] here is my friend from online, and she's got a connection of some kind with this Gem. We think she IS the Gem, somehow, sort of like Steven. But she got too far away from her Gem, and it severed the connection she had with it, and now she's ... well, she's like this."

"Oh hey!" Amethyst points at you. "She's just like those schoolgirls from Madoka!"

Steven's eyes TURN INTO STARS. "Does that mean SHE'S A MAGICAL GIRL?!"

"Don't let him watch episode three," the tall one tells Amethyst.

"Aw, man."

"She's not feeling very magical right now!" Lapis raises her voice. "Steven. I need you to come here and do what you did to fix me. To her, or her Gem, or both at once or something!"

The fox spirit hops up on the couch next to you, and lays her chin down on it.

Lapis side-eyes the fox. "Better try it with her, too."

"Okay ... " Steven GIVES HIS HAND A GOOD LICK, and approaches you, holding it out. "Here goes nothing!"

* * *

And sure enough, NOTHING HAPPENS. Except that your face, and your Gem, and the fox spirit all FEEL ICKIER.

"Aww." Steven looks downcast. "And I even licked both hands and everything!"

"Bleah," you say emphatically.

Your fox spirit is VIGOROUSLY BATHING HERSELF like a cat.

"Well, does anyone else have any ideas?" the pale one, who you found out is also named Pearl, asks. She strikes you as THE TEAM MOM for some reason.

The fox stops licking herself, and stands up. "I can try fusing with her," she suggests. "We did it before, once, while our connection was more stable. I am not sure that it would work, but if there are no options left I feel obligated to try."

"It won't work," the tall one named Garnet says, and ADJUSTS HER GLASSES. "Both you and [YOUR NAME] are being projected by that Pearl. You would struggle to control her body, just as much as she would."

You can't tell if Garnet picks up on things fast, or if she has some kind of FUTURE VISION.

"Ohh, so SOMEONE ELSE NEEDS TO FUSE WITH HER?" Steven asks.

There's an uncomfortable pause.

Finally, Lapis clenches her fists, from her spot standing next to you. "I'll do it."

"Whaaaat?" the Pearl asks.

"No!" Steven yells.

Amethyst SCREAMS, with both hands pressed to her face, then runs off towards the kitchen. "Imma make popcorn!"

"Lapis, you can't!" Steven exclaims. He runs over to her and grabs her hands, pleading with her. "It's too soon, and you're still traumatized by your fusion! Don't make yourself do it again!"

Lapis BLUSHES HARD, and looks away. "You just want me to fuse with Peridot first."

"That's not the ONLY reason!"

They argue the whole time the popcorn is popping, but you're having trouble focusing on their words. That's because you're feeling warm, and nervous, and scared, and because that ELECTRIC TINGLE all throughout your body is back. You feel kind of MUSHY, like your bones are made of GEL, and your face starts to flush and your breathing picks up exactly like you're AROUSED.

Is ... is this what it's like to ANTICIPATE FUSION with someone that you're ATTRACTED TO? Is your body PREPARING YOURSELF to do it?

... is anyone going to ask how YOU feel about this plan?

The microwave dings. "Popcorn's ready!" Amethyst shouts, then opens the door and tears the bag open.

"What about Peridot!" Steven protests. "How will she feel if something happens to her roommate?"

"For the last time, this isn't about Peridot!" Lapis shouts. "This is about speeding up [YOUR NAME]'s healing! What good are another few months of my life, if I can't spend them arguing with her about which Sailor Scout ship is the best?!"

 _[YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP],_ you think. OBVIOUSLY.

Amethyst NOMS POPCORN, and offers Garnet a bowl. Garnet takes it and just holds it in front of her.

Lapis sighs. "Look, Steven. [YOUR NAME] AND Peridot are the best things that have happened to me, here. Working on fanfics and meep morps with them helps keep me from being depressed. Sometimes it helps me think about things in a healthier way. The point is, they both like me, and I like both of them."

Steven's eyes get a bit watery.

"Now stop AGGRESSIVELY SHIPPING ME WITH MY ROOMMATE, and let me do what I want to!"

If you could move your arms that way, you would clap for her. This is PEAK LAPIS; always speaking up on behalf of the characters, and what THEY want. Not what their FANS want them to do.

Then you remember what it is that she wants to DO, and who she wants to DO IT TO. And you shiver.

"Look, she's getting worse." Lapis gestures at you. "We've got to do this, quick."

Everyone takes a respectful step back, except AMETHYST.

Lapis turns around to face you, and takes hold of one of your hands. "[YOUR NAME]," she says. "Are you okay with this plan? Is this something you want me to do?"

You try to nod, but end up FLOPPING YOUR HEAD.

Lapis WINCES. "Blink quickly for 'yes,' or close your eyes for 'no.'"

You blink as quickly as you can, while looking up at the person YOU'RE ABOUT TO FUSE WITH.

Lapis closes her eyes, and clenches her free hand into a fist. "Okay, then."

Amethyst is STILL MUNCHING POPCORN.

"Ugh." Lapis turns around to face everyone. "Can we have a little PRIVACY, here?!"

"Crystal Gems!" Garnet announces. "To the grocery store!"

"Awright!" Amethyst shouts. "Free samples!"

Everyone files out of the house, although Steven gives you both A LINGERING LOOK OF CONCERN.

Finally, it's just the two of you, ALONE TOGETHER.


	2. *cries lots*

"Sorry." Lapis sighs, and sits down on the couch as well as she can while you're laying on it. "The last time I fused, it was in front of them. And I still remember the horrified looks on their faces."

"Wh-whuh happeth?" You're trying REALLY HARD to form actual words, here.

"Huh?" Lapis blinks. "Oh, uh ... wow, I guess I still haven't told you." She laughs nervously. "I don't know if I should, right now. This is about you, not my issues."

You're pretty sure that HER ISSUES are very important, after that instant messaging conversation you had where she hinted at them. Especially given what she said about fusion between TWO DIFFERENT GEMS.

Lapis sees the PLEADING LOOK on your face, and looks away, resigned. "Okay ... I guess you deserve to know, then. Considering what we're about to do." She blushes, and fidgets with the hem of her skirt.

"There was a terr-" She stops herself. "Um. There was a Gem named Jasper, from Homeworld, who wanted to hurt me and Steven. I tried to fly away from her, but she grabbed me and pulled me down, and ... "

Lapis is shivering, her hands SQUEEZED TIGHT at her sides.

"I could've shattered her. Maybe. She was holding onto my arm, and she's a soldier who's a lot stronger than me physically, but I could've caught her off guard with the ocean. Maybe? I don't know anymore."

Lapis puts her HEAD IN HER HANDS. "She told me to fuse with her. She didn't give me a choice. So ... I did."

Lapis is SQUEEZING HANDFULS OF HER HAIR. You want to hug her, but you can't. All you can do is shiver.

"I ... I trapped her there, in that fusion. I held her down under the ocean." Lapis' voice is quiet, now. "I tortured her, just like they tortured me back on Homeworld. And I ... I ...

"I hated myself. But I hated and LOVED her, at the same time."

Lapis is not shaking, now. She's not moving, nor making a sound.

When she finally looks up at you, her hair is messed up and there are tears in her eyes. "Honestly, [YOUR NAME]? I'm the LAST Gem that you want to fuse with. Because I WILL hurt you, even if it's not on purpose. You're going to deal with my depression, my isolation ... you're going to HATE me. You're going to hate BEING ALIVE. Because that's what it's like to be me."

She squeezes her hands into fists again, but is keeping them down at her sides. "The only reason I'm even offering to do this, is because there's a chance that it won't be as bad as NOT fusing. I just ... I want you to think about this." She looks away, her cheeks dark blue.

When she looks back, after she hears your sniffle, she sees you CRYING.

You aren't surprised that there's so much pain in Lapis' past. You aren't even shocked at the KIND of pain that she's dealt with. And you ARE scared of what's going to happen ...

... but for almost a year now, you've SHARED Lapis' pain. You've listened to her terse, self-hating IMs late at night, and her apologies the next day. You've talked her through some of her issues, before, even though she didn't name names. And when she posted AN EXTREMELY DEPRESSIVE FANFIC one day, and took it down just a few hours later, you'd already read the whole thing and were willing to talk about it.

You feel like she's made so much progress working through some of her issues, just in the time that you've known her. You've seen her be happy, EXCITED even, and you've been happy for her. You want to BE TOGETHER with her, and keep helping her and seeing what she comes up with.

But you can't tell her any of that. So instead, you just look up at her, and CRY.

Lapis blushes, and looks very nervous. "Did I hurt you just now?" she asks.

You squeeze your eyes shut, to say NO.

"What do you want me to do?" There's a pause. "Do you want me to hug you?"

You blink at her, rapidly, with TEARS IN YOUR EYES.

"Okay. Just, er, groan if this is too much." Lapis turns to face you and leans over you carefully, before settling down partly on top of you and squeezing you gently with both arms.

You want so BADLY to squeeze her back.

"Am I hurting you?" she asks, and looks at your face.

You squeeze your eyes shut again.

"Okay." Then, after a second, Lapis squeezes you a bit TIGHTER. She squirms around to get more comfortable, and brings up one of her legs to be IN BETWEEN YOURS.

You look down at her. She is BLUSHING SO HARD right now. You wonder how long she has NEEDED this.

You wonder how long you have WANTED it.

Your breathing gets slow and deep, and Lapis shivers as she struggles to hold herself back from just squeezing as hard as she can. She doesn't touch you anywhere else, but her BREASTS are pressed up against yours, and she's kind of rubbing her top half against you unconsciously. You desperately want to RUB BACK, to squeeze her, to take off some of her clothes OKAY MAYBE THAT'S GOING A LITTLE TOO FAR-

Another few moments of longing, and you can see a faint white glow surrounding you both. Everything in you is saying IT'S TIME.

Lapis smiles nervously. "I guess this is it, then?"

You blink your eyelids as fast as you can.

"Okay, then." Lapis squeezes her eyes shut. "Just relax," she goes on, and you can't tell if she's saying that to YOU or HER. "We're going to be okay," she says. "We're going to be-"

And then she MELTS INTO YOUR BODY

and there's nothing but WARMTH AND TOGETHERNESS

and it's SO FULFILLING you CAN'T STAND IT ~

* * *

"Huh?"

You're sitting upright on the couch, all alone, as though the light show had never happened.

Why are you BREATHING AUTOMATICALLY? You NEVER breathe.

"Wait," you say, and your voice sounds strange. "Did it-"

You LOOK DOWN AT YOURSELF.

You're wearing [YOUR NAME]'s fall sweater, except that it has detached sleeves now and doesn't quite cover your midriff. You're also wearing Lapis' skirt above [YOUR NAME]'s leggings, all in earthy fall colours.

You feel your HEART RATE shoot up and your BREATHING speed up, as you jump to your feet and look down at yourself from all angles. Your skin tone is a lot like [YOUR NAME]'s, but with a bluish tint. And you're pretty sure you are TALLER?

"Okay ... " you tell yourself, trying to calm down. "The hard part's over, I guess." You laugh sheepishly, partly because IT WORKED and partly because you're EMBARRASSED. This feels like the most intimate thing you've ever done, and you did it with [ANOTHER GIRL / A PEARL]. Who would have thought?!

No, you realize ... that's not right. You ARE the most intimate thing you've ever done. It's like, whatever you are right now isn't just a one-and-done thing, she's an ongoing process. And you're going to have to BE this process for a while.

Even for the LESS PLEASANT parts.

You sniff at your arms, and WINCE. "Let's start by washing you off," you say, and you can't tell who's talking to whom. But you remember where the shower is, so that's your first stop.

As it turns out, it's not nearly as awkward as the last time that you shared a bathroom.

Actually, it's quite relaxing and enjoyable ~

... at least until you BUMP YOUR HEAD ON THE CURTAIN ROD and bring the whole thing down with you.


	3. *fights monsters and doesn't afraid of anything*

After exploring YOUR FULL RANGE OF MOTION, and finding it VERY SATISFYING, you were only a little annoyed at getting tangled up in A CURTAIN-Y HEAP.

"Fffff-" You try to disentangle yourself, to the sounds of LOUD VINYL RATTLING.

And someone knocking. "Lapis? [YOUR NAME]? Whoever's in there, are you okay?" It's Steven.

You stop rattling for a second so he can hear you. "We're just fine in here, thanks ~ "

There's a pause, and then Steven runs off. "Ohhhhh man ... you guys! They did it!" he shouts, in the house's main room.

"They fused in the BATHROOM?!" Amethyst exclaims.

Pearl sounds thoughtful. "They did say they wanted privacy ... "

You blush, and finish extricating yourself from the curtains. Then you hang the curtain rod back up, before it occurs to you that you're CLEAN and WET and NAKED.

Maybe you don't need to go back out there just yet.

* * *

You end up TAKING YOUR SWEET TIME with towelling off, before putting back on the clothes you were wearing before and then CHECKING YOURSELF OUT IN THE MIRROR.

... you're kinda HOT.

I mean, you've got AN EXTRA PAIR OF EYES on your forehead, and you look like you have COBALT in your bloodstream now. Plus, you now have TWO VISIBLE GEMS on your person, since there's a TEARDROP-SHAPED KEYHOLE in the back of your sweater.

You look tall and confident, though, with A SHAPELY BUST and clothes that are just A LITTLE BIT SMALL AND TIGHT on your new body. You gaze into your own EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE VISAGE, and feel like "here is someone who knows what she wants and how she will get it!"

Even though you haven't a clue about either of those things right now.

Maybe THE PERSON YOU ARE isn't bothered by that?

No. WAIT. Come to think of it, you know EXACTLY what you want, and how you want to PRESENT YOURSELF to the Crystal Gems just outside. ESPECIALLY Steven, since he's the only one whose opinion you care about anyway.

* * *

As you get ready to open the door, it occurs to you to ask: DO you care about the others' opinions? Whose FEELINGS are you having right now?

You're actually not sure you CARE which feelings belong to which person. You feel like you're on A RUNNER'S HIGH crossed with AFTERGLOW, and you KNOW that's because you're a fusion of Lapis and [YOUR NAME], who both care for each other. You won't be surprised if you go back to BEING A DOORMAT or HATING YOURSELF tomorrow, but for stars' sake, you both DESERVE THIS.

... that HOT GIRL IN THE MIRROR deserves this.

Maybe you do care about Garnet, Amethyst, and the other Pearl's opinions of you, though. Just a little.

With that in mind, you wait for a lull in the conversation outside (they're making lunch), then FLING OPEN THE DOOR and exclaim "It is I! MAGICAL GIRL MOONSTONE-CHAN!"

(You're not sure where the MOONSTONE part came from. It just felt like it made sense, even though it makes you sound like A RIPOFF OF SAILOR LUNA. Whatever. You'll have YOUR LAWYERS talk to hers.)

Anyway, your DYNAMIC ENTRY sure caught everyone's attention. They're all staring at you now, Steven with STARS IN HIS EYES and Garnet with A HUGE GRIN ON HER FACE. No time to get stage fright; on to PHASE TWO of your introduction!

Your fox friend hops up on the couch near where you're standing, and strikes AN UNINTENTIONALLY ADORABLE POSE, as you twirl around and give everyone A SIDEWAYS PEACE SIGN. "With the power of foxes and oceans, I fight for love, cuteness, and personal freedom!"

Steven starts clapping, and the rest of the Crystal Gems follow suit, with VARYING DEGREES OF ENTHUSIASM. Garnet and Amethyst cheer for you; the other Pearl claps politely, with an embarrassed look on her face.

"With that in mind ... " You try to do Uka's sly, thoughtful pose, with one hand to your chin. "I hereby revoke this Pearl's gift of herself to the Crystal Gems." Your FREE HAND caresses the STAR JEWEL around your neck. "She belongs to no one but me, which is to say, no one except for herself."

"Whoo!" Now STEVEN is cheering you on, while GARNET and THE OTHER PEARL look more UNCERTAIN.

"So!" You clap your hands together in front of your Star Jewel, and SMILE WINNINGLY. "What can Moonstone-chan do for you?"

"We're making subs!" Steven says, and holds up AN ELONGATED SANDWICH. "Wanna help?"

"S-sure!" you tell him, as you begin to realize you're STARVING and also ABOUT TO DIE FROM EMBARRASSMENT. Who would have thought it'd be easier to project confidence into the mirror than AT AN AUDIENCE?!

You feel everyone's eyes on you, as you and your fox friend join them at the kitchen table. Or at least, you feel most of their eyes, since Amethyst is currently EATING TWICE HER BODY WEIGHT.

"So!" The other Pearl gives you a strained smile, as she spreads mayonnaise on a sandwich bun. "A-are you sure that you want to-"

"Magical girls fight monsters," Garnet says, and folds her arms. "It's their number one rule."

"I wanna see you transform!" Steven says, one hand (and his face) both FULL OF SANDWICH.

You glance down at your FOX FRIEND, who is sitting patiently on the floor. She gives you A MEANINGFUL LOOK, but you can't tell if the meaning is "I won't make you do anything you don't want to" or "please feed me cold cuts."

"Heh," you say NERVOUSLY, and put one hand behind your head. "I kinda just got this fusion, so maybe I'll try it out for a little before doing another one. You know?"

Steven GASPS, and points down at the fox. "You transform by fusing with your magical pet?! That's so cool! They should've done that in Unfamiliar Familiar." He then takes A HUGE BITE OF SANDWICH.

"[YOUR NAME] did that," you tell Steven, while side-eyeing your fox. "I don't know how Lapis feels about it yet."

The other Pearl finishes making a sandwich, which gets SNATCHED UP BY AMETHYST and SHOVED DOWN HER GULLET. Pearl doesn't seem to mind, though. "This 'Uka' person seemed impressed by your fighting skills," she tells you, and you aren't sure who she is addressing. "But where did a Pearl learn how to fight? Was there ... someone who inspired you? A terrifying renegade Pearl, perhaps?" She puts both hands under her chin, and gives you A GENUINE SMILE.

Looking at it makes YOUR HEART SINK. Stars, there are no right answers to this question, are there?

"Um, well ... " You try to focus on making your sandwich, even though some of the ingredients are getting SNATCHED UP BY AMETHYST before you get a chance to use them.

You take a deep breath, and decide to COME CLEAN with her. "I don't know anything about fighting, or about this Pearl," you say, holding up your Star Jewel. "I have none of her memories, and neither did [YOUR NAME]."

"Oh." The other Pearl's face falls.

"Also, Lapis is kind of afraid of you." That part you MUTTER TO YOURSELF as you make your sandwich. "But when [YOUR NAME] fused with this fox, she was surprisingly good at fighting!" you say, speaking up now. "I watched her take down a corrupted Gem without even trying."

[YOUR NAME]'s and Lapis' memories are jumbled together inside of your head, and you feel like trying to untangle them would just give you a headache. Maybe it's best to not think about it too much, and just SAY WHAT COMES TO MIND naturally.

Sort of like Steven. "Then you GOTTA transform!" he exclaims, with THE LAST OF HIS SANDWICH still inside his mouth. "C'mon. Pleeeeease?"

You glance over at him, and are nearly knocked off your chair. Those are some ARMOUR-PIERCING PUPPY-DOG EYES, right there, and you had no idea that girl in the mirror could be RENDERED SPEECHLESS so quickly.

"Um." You catch your breath. "Well ... "

STARS FORM inside Steven's eyes.

"[YOUR NAME] and I ... I mean, Lapis and I! Er, we're both not very experienced with this whole 'fusion' thing, unlike some people ... " You cough. "What I'm saying is, I think we need some time to get used to this before adding a THIRD PARTY to the mix."

"What if there was a giant monster?" Amethyst asks. She appears to have finished eating, and plopped herself down on the DAYBED NEXT TO THE WINDOW.

"Huh?" You look up.

"'Cause I'm pretty sure that's Cthulhu out there." Amethyst turns to face everyone, and STICKS HER THUMB OVER HER SHOULDER.

Their Pearl runs over to Amethyst, and folds her arms. "Amethyst, that is NOT Cthulhu. It doesn't have enough tentacles!"

Garnet stands up, and SUMMONS HUGE GAUNTLETS OVER HER HANDS with a BRIGHT FLASH and a sound like PORCELAIN BASS. "Weapons, everyone! To the beach!"

In about TWO SECONDS, you're left alone at the table, and very confused.

You finish making your sandwich, then carry it and your plate over to the window. Sure enough, there's A GIANT SEA MONSTER, wading slowly towards the beach. It lets out AN EAR-SPLITTING CALL, which sounds like A STRANGLED ELEPHANT.

For some reason, though, you aren't worried. I mean, you can barely feel the RIPPLES it's leaving behind as it walks, so it has to be far away still. You're pretty sure you have time to FINISH YOUR SANDWICH.

Wait. You STOP, with your sandwich halfway to your mouth. You can FEEL the ripples it's making? The water it's shaking and displacing?

This shouldn't be a surprise to you. And yet, it is. The familiar sensation feels NEW AND WONDROUS to you, and you hold out your hand, trying to sense the CURRENTS. It's like they're not just washing over your fingers, but your GEMS, and even YOUR WHOLE BODY. You can feel them as though you are SWIMMING in them, and sense everything swimming IN them.

That's ... kind of AMAZING, actually. And what's even better, you realize, is that you AREN'T FREAKING OUT about BEING THIS CLOSE TO THE OCEAN.

You'd been consciously AVOIDING it, trying not to get so close for more than FIVE MINUTES, because of the weight ... the TERRIBLE, CRUSHING WEIGHT you could feel all around you, pushing down on your shoulders, IMPRISONING YOU beneath the waves. The reminder of what feels like a LIFETIME you spent in A TOMB.

But now ... now that you've told [YOUR NAME] about this, and now that she's here to support you in person ... you feel like you can handle it.

You reach out to squeeze [YOUR NAME]'s hand, and then stop when you realize what you were doing. And thinking. You blush, very hard, and set down your plate so you can HUG YOURSELF. And give your reflection A COMFORTING SMILE.

Maybe you could get used to this. BOTH of you.

* * *

Oh yeah, you just remembered. There's some kinda KAIJU out there. The Crystal Gems are taking up BATTLE FORMATIONS; Steven's got his shield out, Pearl's got her spear (it looks more twisty than yours), and Garnet is SHOUTING OUT ORDERS that Amethyst is probably ignoring.

You step out onto the windy front porch, set your plate down on the table outside, and size up the monster. Yep, it's PRETTY BIG alright.

You reach out one of your hands, and concentrate on the weight of the ocean. A GIANT WATERY HAND forms in response, not too far away from the kaiju.

You DRIVE YOUR FIST INTO THE AIR in an uppercut, and the ocean SUCKER PUNCHES the heck out of the monster. As its PONDEROUS BULK topples backwards, as if in slow motion, you clasp both of your hands together and bring them downwards.

Your EARS POP, as the monster swells and then POOFS in a cloud of smoke. Water rushes in to fill the vacuum, as A TINY GEM drops into the waves.

The Crystal Gems look up at you, and Steven shouts "Did you just punch out Cthulhu?!"

You didn't have A WITTY RESPONSE prepared. So instead, you just say "Yup," as a seagull flies off with the last few bites of your sandwich.

Maybe BEING A MAGICAL GIRL will be fun.

* * *

MEANWHILE ...

In THE DEPTHS OF THE UNDERWORLD, an ANCIENT EVIL awakens.

Out in THE DELMARVA COUNTRYSIDE, a small green CORN CHIP WITH LEGS frets over your absence.

And BACK IN YOUR ROOM IN NEW ENGLAND, your brother's cat wonders why no one has fed him.

Will THE MONSTERS be defeated? Will PERIDOT send an army of drones to find you? Will THE CAT get the awesome wet food from a can?!

Find out, in the next episode of MAGICAL GEM [YOUR NAME]-CHAN!

**Author's Note:**

> I decided that [YOUR NAME]'s outfit kind of looks like [Compa's.](http://hyperdimensionneptunia.wikia.com/wiki/File:RB1_Compa.png) ^^;
> 
> Also, Uka comes from the most ADORABLE AND PURE magical girl anime ever. And also from Japanese religion!


End file.
